Emotions, Feel Good, Gratitude, Patient Support Voice, Paying It Forward

The Communities We Build

The narrative for young men growing up has been so clear- an unabashed sense of the need to be strong and unpenetrable. As far away from being perceived as weak as is possible. This is the narrative I also grew up with, and it is reinforced so often by not just parents but also peer relations and the social constructs that surround us in each and every moment. I point this out because this narrative has led to the community expectations that we battle with today: If you are a man, you should show no weakness, talking about your feelings is weak- don’t do it. 

This narrative does nothing but propagates the idea that if we do have feelings or emotions, we need to hide them for fear of being found out and excluded or othered. This is something that contributes to the stigmatization of mental illness. One of our main goals at The MindReset is to help de-stigmatize mental illness and help individuals know there is a place that is welcoming and will support them even if they are not strong or brave enough to find a voice to open up. 

Something really great has happened in the last couple of weeks in the sports world- typically a place that exemplifies the hyper-masculine narrative. Multiple high profile NBA players and all-stars, Demar DeRozan and Kevin Love, both came out about their own mental health struggles. This is so very important to help de-stigmatize mental health as they have very large platforms and also contradict the stereotypical narrative of an athlete. It was not easy for them, just like it is not easy for others who live with mental illness. 

A really important aspect of mental illness is that for some, they may be completely blind to it. Part of the reason for this could be that they may not have been taught or ever learned how to be reflective and more aware of themselves. Someone might know something is off, but not know what it is and if they are in an environment that discourages talking about feelings and emotions, they are likely not going to seek support or answers. 


“I realized how many issues come from places that you may not realize until you really look into them. I think it’s easy to assume we know ourselves, but once you peel back the layers it’s amazing how much there is to still discover.” – Kevin Love 


 

This gets to the point of being mindful and really trying to understand yourself. The big picture here though is that peeling back these layers is something that you may need help with. This is why it is so important to build communities that are welcoming and understanding- communities which are inclusive.

The MindReset is a place where we want to open those conversations and work towards rethinking the way we live by creating more supportive, inclusive, compassionate, and kind communities. 

I’ll leave you with a quote that speaks to me on so many levels and hopefully does the same for you:


“We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.”

— Max de Pree

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Patient Support Voice

Unseen difficulties of mental illness

It’d been a long week for me with school and work so I had planned to go out with a couple of buddies last night, get some dinner, go play some darts. At dinner one of my friends started talking to me about some struggles he had been having recently with anxiety. He had made a mistake at work a couple months ago and since then he has felt a lack of control of his career, worrying about job security.

It was difficult to hear parts of what has been going on for him, he’s been having physical symptoms along with trouble sleeping and just kind of felt stuck and not himself, and that he was unable to be himself because of his anxiety. I don’t think a lot of people realize just how difficult normal functioning is when you have an ongoing battle with mental health issues. Another aspect of mental health that I don’t think a lot of people consider is the comorbidity that goes along with it. More often than not someone will be battling more than one mental health issue, making it all the more difficult to overcome.

The reason that I bring this up, internalizing behaviors like anxiety, depression, somatic symptoms- are not obvious and can go unnoticed and unchecked for so long and at times to the extreme detriment of those who are suffering.

It is our responsibility as friends, family, and loved ones to be aware and vigilant when we notice changes in those around us, especially if we know there is a history of mental illness for the individual or in the individuals family. I take on the responsibility of being a supporter willingly and I will admit it is not easy to help sometimes. I have run into a couple of brick walls in my life when I have tried to help others, but I still will not give up, and I strive to be more helpful in the future.

I have been told that I can be somewhat parental, and not as patient-centered as I should be which is an important lesson to learn as collaboration is more effective for long-term care and not “band-aiding”. There are times when those who are suffering don’t know how to help themselves and they may need extra help and support and even some coaching, but then there are times when individuals understand their illnesses far more than someone who is not suffering and those are the ones that you need to listen to when you consider “how can I help?”

This is so important because if you think about it, having a mental illness doesn’t mean you are a child or are incapable of making your own choices, it just means that it can be a lot harder to do so and to handle certain situations.

Even if you do not personally know someone who is suffering from mental illness, you can still be a voice for those who do. Remember, not everyone who is suffering is obvious, and a lot of times it isn’t until it is too late. Sharing information on ways to get help and support is one way, but also just showing that mental health is important to you. Social media spreads far and wide and if we all can spread the message of support, those who suffer won’t feel so alone.


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Please do not hesitate to reach out to the MindReset community.

The MindReset is a community of individuals who seek to inspire a social movement geared toward creating a more Supportive, Inclusive, Compassionate, and Kind society where anyone and everyone has the opportunity to thrive.

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theMindReset/
  • Instagram: @The_MindReset
  • Twitter: themindreset
  • #TheMindReset #TMR #SICK
  • e-mail: themindreset@gmail.com
Patient Support Voice

Sometimes, those who take care of others are the ones who need help.

Hey everyone, today I want to touch on some of my own struggles being in the supporter role. It has been very important for me to establish my own layers of support to make sure that I am being mindful of my own needs.

I have found it difficult at times to always be as encouraging as I probably should be, and something I have noticed about these times is I seem to not have enough spoons available to take care of someone else’s emotional needs as well as my own. When I refer to spoons, I am referencing spoon theory, which is a way to measure how much available energy you have to devote to different tasks throughout the day. Understanding and planning where and when to use your spoons is a way to be considerate of your own capabilities.

Understanding my own needs is imperative for the ability to actually be supportive of another. If I am unable to take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of someone else? In regard to this, I have worked to establish my own outlets for when I feel overwhelmed or stressed in order to still take on what may be my most important role. Find a couple friends, a relative, maybe even someone at work that is available to have a chat with here and there. Unload some of the burdens so they don’t overwhelm you. Finding a stable support system for myself has enabled me to give more to those that need me.

I cannot stress (pun intended) the importance of self-care enough. I have had times where I thought I could do it all, manage every aspect of my own life and someone else’s only to crash and burn. In the long run that doesn’t help anyone! Another point that I want to make about finding your own support system is that in becoming your supporter, that person is also supporting and contributing to the positive outcomes of who you are supporting, so for me, every person that supports me is also supporting Jing in her recovery process.

The larger our support networks grow, as does the opportunity for advocacy. I will continue to reach out to others because it is what those impacted by TBI need. I hope that all of those who read this will do the same.


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Please do not hesitate to reach out to the MindReset community.

The MindReset is a community of individuals who seek to inspire a social movement geared toward creating a more Supportive, Inclusive, Compassionate, and Kind society where anyone and everyone has the opportunity to thrive.

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theMindReset/
  • Instagram: @The_MindReset
  • Twitter: themindreset
  • #TheMindReset #TMR #SICK
  • e-mail: themindreset@gmail.com
Patient Support Voice

Compassion is key.

Hello Everyone!

My name is Cole and I will also be contributing to this blog in order to bring a different perspective, one from a supporter role. Jing was able to progress in her recovery very quickly so she has not needed a caretaker for a couple years now, but others who suffer a TBI may need a caretaker for an extensive time period which is not easy.

My background is as a student and a behavior interventionist. It is great I have the opportunity to share as I realize TBI not only impacts the person who experienced the injury, but also those around them a great deal. Just like those who have been injured there are times for caretakers or support systems that can be very difficult. I will provide some of my own experiences as I continue to post on this blog. I hope you find them helpful!

I was lucky enough to run into Jing a little over a year ago, and she has had a huge impact on my life ever since. Something about Jing is she is a very straightforward person. The first day we spent time together, she let me know about her circumstances. Initially, now that I look back at it, I don’t think it really registered with me. I had never met someone with a TBI. When I think about it now I admire her so much for this as it is not easy to talk about conditions that are debilitating to someone you just met.

One big thing I want to express to you all is that TBI does not just go away. To truly be supportive of someone with TBI you need to be prepared and understand it is a long process that will have its ups and downs. You will build grit and resilience along with those you support and become a stronger individual and in turn a stronger team.

This is where compassion is so huge to the recovery process. Those who are recovering may need their supporters to be their own personal cheerleaders, always being understanding and encouraging while making sure not to be negative and critical. After a TBI, the person who experienced the accident is starting over. They are growing and learning through their experiences just like children. It is our jobs as supporters or caregivers to help ensure those experiences are what’s best for the road of recovery.  Your role as a caregiver or supporter is critical to the overall well-being of TBI patients, so understand the value your position holds and make it count!

If you have any questions please feel free to ask! I have provided links in the resources tab For Family & Friends of Survivors for more information about ways to provide support!


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Please do not hesitate to reach out to the MindReset community.

The MindReset is a community of individuals who seek to inspire a social movement geared toward creating a more Supportive, Inclusive, Compassionate, and Kind society where anyone and everyone has the opportunity to thrive.

  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theMindReset/
  • Instagram: @The_MindReset
  • Twitter: themindreset
  • #TheMindReset #TMR #SICK
  • e-mail: themindreset@gmail.com