Hey everyone, today I want to touch on some of my own struggles being in the supporter role. It has been very important for me to establish my own layers of support to make sure that I am being mindful of my own needs.
I have found it difficult at times to always be as encouraging as I probably should be, and something I have noticed about these times is I seem to not have enough spoons available to take care of someone else’s emotional needs as well as my own. When I refer to spoons, I am referencing spoon theory, which is a way to measure how much available energy you have to devote to different tasks throughout the day. Understanding and planning where and when to use your spoons is a way to be considerate of your own capabilities.
Understanding my own needs is imperative for the ability to actually be supportive of another. If I am unable to take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of someone else? In regard to this, I have worked to establish my own outlets for when I feel overwhelmed or stressed in order to still take on what may be my most important role. Find a couple friends, a relative, maybe even someone at work that is available to have a chat with here and there. Unload some of the burdens so they don’t overwhelm you. Finding a stable support system for myself has enabled me to give more to those that need me.
I cannot stress (pun intended) the importance of self-care enough. I have had times where I thought I could do it all, manage every aspect of my own life and someone else’s only to crash and burn. In the long run that doesn’t help anyone! Another point that I want to make about finding your own support system is that in becoming your supporter, that person is also supporting and contributing to the positive outcomes of who you are supporting, so for me, every person that supports me is also supporting Jing in her recovery process.
The larger our support networks grow, as does the opportunity for advocacy. I will continue to reach out to others because it is what those impacted by TBI need. I hope that all of those who read this will do the same.